Your wife doesn’t need you to be just a “nice guy”. She needs to know that you will fight for her and defend her; that you will give your life for her.

One of the most destructive weapons the enemy uses in his attempt to destroy marriages is the deception that a married couple should oppose each other, even to the point that they think of each other as the enemy.

The first time I realized the seriousness of this deception was about eight months ago, I was in a department store with my wife and she decided to go to the lingerie department. Before I knew the words were coming out of my mouth I said, “I can’t go there, that’s enemy territory.” I said it without even thinking about what I was saying. I looked at my wife and said, “Did you hear what I just said?” I couldn’t believe I could say such a thing. Just that morning I had told my wife that I was for her and not against her, and I was on her side.

There is no doubt in my mind where that thought came from. It was a thought the enemy had planted in my mind a long time ago. A part of my memory that I didn’t know was still there. I wondered how many men were being influenced to believe that way.

I started listening to the way other men talked about women and I also watched what was being said on television that would have this same message about women. What I learned was, most men see women as the enemy to some degree. I also noticed that advertisements as well as some shows on television supported this deception. It seems to be a popular belief among most men. Even to the point that they don’t realize the seriousness of the problem. They usually even think it is funny.

 Gentleman, no matter what thoughts the enemy is putting in our minds about our wives, they are not our enemy. Do not even entertain the thought of her in that way. When we married our wives we entered a covenant with God and became “one”. 

(Ephesians 5:29-31), “29 after all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church - 30 for we are members of his body.
31For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh."

Since we have become one flesh with our wives, then loving her is to love someone that has become part of ourselves. That means that to see our wives as an enemy, we would have to be against someone who is part of our own flesh. Essentially we would be turning against ourselves.

This seems more and more like the work of our real enemy, Satan. The decision to treat our wives as our enemy falls right into his plan to destroy us and our family.

When we begin to consider the fight for our family it is obvious that our first concern in the battle should be the safety and well-being of our wife before we even consider anyone else.

This is what God says about creating Eve for Adam in Genesis 2:18, “The Lord God said,“It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

The word used in the original Hebrew text for helper is, ezer kenegdo. The accurate translation of these two words from Hebrew to English language is a matter of much study and debate. I will try to explain it without complicating things too much.

 The word ezer is a powerful word that God uses to describe Himself as someone you desperately need to come through for you, as if you are in a life or death situation, or for a lack of a better term “lifesaver”.

Kenegdo means, alongside, or counterpart. So the most accurate translation would be “Lifesaver alongside”. This translation means that God created eve to be desperately needed by Adam and she is on his side, she is for him and not against him. The same should be true about our marriages today. We should treat our spouse as though we are for them and never against them and that we are on their side. We should also make it a point to tell them so every day. It is very important to speak the words with your mouth so your spouse can hear them coming from your heart and to cancel the lies that the enemy is telling them in his effort to put you against each other.

It is also very important to listen to our spouse, especially when there are problems in our marriage. Sometimes we get so focused on what we want, we don’t listen to our spouse when they are trying to express the most important needs they have that we are not providing for them, or sometimes they may be trying to tell us that there are things we are doing or saying that hurts their heart or makes them feel unimportant to us.

As husbands, sometimes we forget how much we desperately need our wives, until something happens to them or they leave. Then we remember why we are so privileged and blessed to be married to them. It is of a sinful nature that we become complacent and over confident in our relationship with our wives, sometimes even to the point of being unsupportive and cold.

God’s men do not submit to the weaknesses of the sinful nature and allow the enemy to destroy their marriage and family. They adhere to the wisdom and understanding of the teachings of their Father God. They are the priest and spiritual leader of their home!